Packing Up...(Swagata)

Four years have passed by and we have decided to move back to the U.S. Rohan will enter High School and we decided he should have his high school education in the US. Simone also needs a more creative approach to studies that encourages independent thinking. The children had a superb time at their Bangalore school (CBSE curriculum), which made sure the students get an all-round experience. But the method of teaching core subjects is still quite primitive. Schools really need to work on that. That would mean changing the textbooks, training the teachers, introducing mature and challenging projects, etc.

Rohan is quite sad to leave behind his friends – he spent his impressionable years in Bangalore. Well, he has a Facebook account now, just so that he can keep in touch with his friends in India.

My own feelings are mixed. On one hand, I won’t mind the efficiency of a smooth running country. On the other hand, we will surely miss the warmth and open-heartedness of people here. We now know more people in Bangalore than we know in the US!!

Four years ago, when we were planning the move to India, my American friends thought - What a great idea! My Indian friends thought I was crazy dragging my foreigner husband to India. I have to say it worked out fine with us. Both Cor and myself had decided to stay fully aware of the fact that each society has its own pros and cons, and that we should enjoy the positives in Indian society and not dwell on the negatives. I think that approach is very crucial to making your stay pleasant in any part of the world. I did not miss America in the last four years. Instead we had focused on discovering the hidden gems in the lanes and by-lanes of Bangalore.

We are moving back to the same neighborhood area in California that we came from. The familiarity will be re-assuring. So familiar with the roads, the shops, the schools…

Feels like going back home!

To everyone we have met and spent some time with in Bangalore - My love and best wishes. We may see some of you in Sunny Southern California!!

- Swagata

The India we are leaving behind....(Swagata)

We moved to India to make our children comfortable with the Indian side of their heritage, and not view it as just a “developing country’ of their parent, but appreciate the warmth, the love, and the struggles of regular Indians. For that reason, we were very particular about NOT living in a ‘NRI’ neighborhood and NOT sending them to international schools. We truly left our American life behind. Our children went to Delhi Public School under CBSE board, played in the evenings with the neighborhood children, learnt Hindi, and ate ‘Chana-Puri’ (Rohan says that in his cute accent!) in the school canteen. Rohan has learnt Hindi so well. If, in the future, life ever brings him back to India, he will be quite comfortable with the nuances of the Indian culture.

People in India are surely crazy about two things – Music and Cricket. Even the guy who came to look at my car commented on how I do not have a fancy music system in my car. Don’t I like music? Gatherings where people sing away the nights are quite common here. The gardener has his music ON on his cellphone, while working – only thing is he takes more breaks than work, but that is another story. Music surely helps to handle the chaos all around here.

And of course, the cricketers are Gods here, or semi-Gods. So are the film stars. Maybe because the glamour and glitter of the film and cricket worlds seem awesome to the millions of have-nots in this country.

That is one thing that bothers me – the huge disparity between the middle class and the poor people here. And there are other things too – like the scarcity of clean water. Bangalore gets so much rain, if all the rain water was caught and channelised, it would have solved so much of this water problem. Waste management is also a crucial need.

I really admire people like Ramesh and Swati Ramanathan, who left a cozy life in the US to found Janagraha in Bangalore, to teach people about ‘citizen involvement’. It is a great cause, and a great job is being done.

- Swagata

Traffic (Cor)

One thing I have completely failed at, is acceptance of the traffic rules here - or better, the lack of any rules. I hoped that in the land of the yogi's I would have learned acceptance and detachment, but noooo. I yell and blow my horn and make ugly faces and pretty much embarrass myself. You better make sure you're not on the road when I am, I may yell at you for some perceived violation, try to run you off the road, or any other such thing. If I already have done that to you, herewith my apologies.

Leaving India soon (Cor)

After four years in India we are getting ready to go "home" (although the concept of home is now a little confused for me). We have enjoyed it a lot here. The children have enjoyed it even more. I hope they have learned about India while being here. And I also hope they have not picked up any long term ill effects (given the possibility of eating contaminated food, etc).

We'll be very sad to leave behind our tennis; we all play very often now, Rohan 5 times per week from 8am till 4pm (since it is summer vacation), Swagata plays 4-5 X week, so does Simone. I play a little less now, while my knee is rehabilitating. Playing so often in the US wont be possible; first it seems there is less time in the US and second it will be way too expensive.

We'll be sad leaving behind the many friends we have made here. People are very warm and friendly and uncomplicated. Of course we get along with fellow Indian expats (shared experiences), but also with many locals. Swagata has found some women who share her views, the kids have too many friends to count, and I will have to leave behind the "kids" at work (most are under 30), the tennis guys and our friends in the neighborhood.

We'll be sad to leave behind the luxurious life style - relatively speaking. Converting dollars to rupees gives you a great advantage; it makes most things very cheap. And yes, who does not like not having to worry about money. We've been able to travel freely in the country, having many vacations and trips. Don't think it will be possible to do this in the US.

And, confessing to a weakness, being a white person in this country often gives you an advantage. You are treated with more respect, you have access to areas where Indians would be challenged first, in meetings people will listen to you, in stores and banks, you get quicker service than most. Of course I realize this is somewhat of a "colonial" attitude, but it is nice none the less. Back in the US, I will be just another guy.

Life is slower here, there is time to do things, it is not as competitive, not as harsh and cold as it sometimes is in the US. With our means, we can live very nicely here, not bothered by the many uncertainties of life in the west.

Of course there are negatives as well, but this post is not about that.

We will be sad to leave, we do wonder how we will adjust to life back in the US, how the kids will do. I think we'll come back some time - after the kids are out of the house, or earlier ???

(Cor) Cleanliness

Boy, that's a problem. Generally, people's sense of hygiene is very different. People will throw anything, anywhere. Not a thought is wasted on dropping paper, plastic, or any kind of trash anywhere. You see cars that pitch paper bags, candy bar wrappers out of the window all the time. Pedestrians do the same. Some people do not pay for trash pick up, instead they drop it out of the window on the way to work.

Ok, that's a huge eye sore. But does not necessarily affect your own health unless you have to walk through it (many people walk from place to place, but of course we're in our car most of the time).

But more dangerously is personal hygiene. For example servants will use the same rag they use in the bathroom in the kitchen. You have to tell them all the time to wash their hands after cleaning the bathrooms. Not to mix sponges used for cleaning on the food. Not to use food that has fallen (on the dirty) floor. Not to sneeze on the food. And then of course they don't use toilet paper here, so use your imagination.

No wonder so many people fall ill with stomach trouble. For poor people this can mean death (de-hydration), for people more well off, it means feeling very crappy for a few days. So many times we hear in the neighborhood that someone has fallen ill due to stomach upset. A couple of months ago one of Rohan's friends was sick for 3 weeks, had some 20+ injections, because of something he ate at a candy shop. He lost 20 pounds.

Today Simone is sick with a bad stomach, but we have no idea where she got it from. We try our best to be as hygienic as possible, but when 99% of the people don't follow the same rules, you can get it fomr just about anywhere.

(Cor) Holi.

Yesterday we celebrated "Holi" a festival where everybody throws colors on everybody else.

Sorry but I don't know the significance of it, perhaps Swagata will explain.


But it's pretty much mahem, as you take this colored powder (yellow, read, blue) and just put it people's hair, clothes, face, anywhere. Then add water guns and you can pretty much imagine what it looks like.


Kids love it and yesterday the adults got involved too. I was the last one to (forcibly) submit.


Then, like every "real" Indian get together, a good meal was served.

(Cor) Justice? Talibanisation in India.

Last weekend a party was being held at a farm house in a rural area of Bangalore. Over 100 youths attended. By all accounts no drugs were present, just alcohol and loud music. Neighbors complained after some time and the police showed up. This is where it got bad. The police alleged that it was a "rave" party and instead of just breaking up the party and telling everyone to go home, and perhaps fining the organizers, the police arrested everybody! This is the same police that will often refuse to file a report when other crimes are committed, the same police that will witness a family getting beaten up over a traffic accident and do nothing (as was reported this morning in the paper).

Today is Wednesday and some of the kids are still in jail. Bail was set at Rs20,000 ($400) but some had a hard time raising that money. And even when they did, the police came up with excuses (papers were filed too late, names were written down wrong or whatever). Yesterday was a holiday, so nothing was done either. So you have up to 100 kids in jail (and jail is NOT a nice place here), they are not allowed to see their relatives, get (perhaps) one meal per day (which you may not want to eat anyway), being treated like criminals. One girls suffers from asthma and needs medication, but her brother is not allowed to give it to her. Apparently she is unconscious.

Why? Well there is an increase in "Hindu Nationalism", which is similar to the Islam Taliban - although not nearly as radical (yet?). A couple of months a go a half dozen girls got beaten up by boys for visiting a pub - it is supposedly against "Hindu" culture. Then there are many reports about girls being bothered (yelled at, and even beaten) for wearing indecent clothes (spaghetti strap tops or jeans are 'indecent' in the eye of these people), or whatever. Many times the police does not do anything. And all this is supported by some political parties - although not overtly.

It makes me realize the dangers lurking all around us here - while we live our nicely isolated and protected lives here in Ferns Residency.

Or are we safe and protected .....?